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[personal profile] ophelias_heart
Friday my mom would have been 60. I just, for so long I didn't want other people to talk about her because I wanted her memory all to myself and now I wish more people would talk to me about her and what they remember. I worry that sometimes I can't remember how she smelled and how her arms felt hugging me.

I was prepared for Friday to kinda suck, what I was not prepared for is that Helo (our orange kitty) has cancer. He was not putting a lot of weight on him back leg Friday before last or so. The vet thought it was an abscess so he got a shot and some meds, we went back Tuesday and nothing had changed so more meds and Friday was a recheck. They did an x-ray and they are 95ish% sure that it's cancer and that it's spread. Since it's more than likely spread amputation is not an option. They said that they could do chemo and radiation to the tune of at least $10,000, which even if we had that, I hate the thought of him not understanding why we are causing him more pain. Mostly because they said he has maybe six weeks, if it's as fast moving as they think. He is in a obvious amount of pain and is lethargic, so I think we are going to have to make the call this week. He's only seven and I'm not ready, but I don't want to put him through more suffering because I'm not ready. Henry couldn't figure out why I was upset and just kept asking Patrick "mommy crying?" I really don't cry a lot and crying in public is the worst.

Monday we found out that we have another few pinhole leaks in the pipes. They want to replace the the whole system. Which would be great if we had money for that. Also, it's kinda difficult to get a loan when you don't actually own anything outright. Trying to see if we can just patch some more and wait. Eventually we will have replaced the whole thing two inch sections at a time.

Also, yesterday Henry had a nosebleed. He ran into the wall at daycare and they didn't think he hit his face, but later he had a nosebleed. Not sure if he really did hit it or if it's allergies or something else.

On the bright side, my dad is having his last round of chemo this week. He will probably still have to have maintenance chemo for the rest of his life, but overall this is good news. Patrick had a flat tire last week, but we were able to get it patched, so that's good. And I have a lot of people that love me, so that's always amazing.


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June 2015

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