Lisa (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ophelias_heart) wrote2012-09-05 11:35 am
ophelias_heart) wrote2012-09-05 11:35 am
More drabbles
I don't own NCIS/NCIS LA or anything associated with those brands.
Title: Alone
Character(s)/Pairing: Ziva
Rating: T?
Spoilers: Season 7
Word Count: 237
I have never felt so alone. Even after I lost Tali, my mother, and then Ari. I have now lost my father, because he is as good as dead to me. I thought that I could finally win my father’s love by going on alone after my unit was torn apart by death and injury. I almost had my target when I was captured. I have lost my team, because I thought I needed to prove myself to my father. There is no one left to look for me.
I sit in this empty room with a dirt floor and let myself cry for all I have lost. I have accepted that I will die out here in the desert alone. I welcome death as a reprieve from the torture. I am hungry, dehydrated, bruised, blistered, bloody, and alone. How long have I been here? It is hard to keep track of time.
They put a hood over my head and lead me into another room. I pray for death. When they sit me down and remove the hood I cannot fathom what is happening. I am sure I have gone mad; why of all the people I have hurt would Tony come for me? I do not deserve this. I am sure that I have died and that the man I love being here with me after everything I have put him through, is my hell.
Title: Gun
Character(s)/Pairing: Ziva
Word Count: 246
The first time I hold a gun in my hands after Somalia it feels so strange. I never thought that holding a gun would feel foreign to me. I joined Mossad right after my time in IDF and had been training with weapons most of my life. Holding a gun or knife in my hand has always given me a feeling of comfort.
In Somalia, I was only given enough food and water to keep me alive. I have lost weight and my body is weak. Weakness is not something I know how to deal with. I have always been strong in both body and mind. In Mossad you were strong or you were dead. I have never known this feeling of weakness. Holding this gun that used to feel like an extension of my body, but is now heavy and awkward, brings the memories that I fight everyday to keep hidden.
Being tied up for hours and days at a time has caused residual pain in my wrists and hands. They hurt and shake at the most inopportune moments. I shake them out, hoping no one is paying enough attention to notice. But everyone is watching me like a hawk and it is all I can do to hold it together every day. The team cannot know how weak I really am. They already look at me with pity and treat me like I am breakable, and that hurts more than the memories of torture.
Title: Alone
Character(s)/Pairing: Ziva
Rating: T?
Spoilers: Season 7
Word Count: 237
I have never felt so alone. Even after I lost Tali, my mother, and then Ari. I have now lost my father, because he is as good as dead to me. I thought that I could finally win my father’s love by going on alone after my unit was torn apart by death and injury. I almost had my target when I was captured. I have lost my team, because I thought I needed to prove myself to my father. There is no one left to look for me.
I sit in this empty room with a dirt floor and let myself cry for all I have lost. I have accepted that I will die out here in the desert alone. I welcome death as a reprieve from the torture. I am hungry, dehydrated, bruised, blistered, bloody, and alone. How long have I been here? It is hard to keep track of time.
They put a hood over my head and lead me into another room. I pray for death. When they sit me down and remove the hood I cannot fathom what is happening. I am sure I have gone mad; why of all the people I have hurt would Tony come for me? I do not deserve this. I am sure that I have died and that the man I love being here with me after everything I have put him through, is my hell.
Title: Gun
Character(s)/Pairing: Ziva
Word Count: 246
The first time I hold a gun in my hands after Somalia it feels so strange. I never thought that holding a gun would feel foreign to me. I joined Mossad right after my time in IDF and had been training with weapons most of my life. Holding a gun or knife in my hand has always given me a feeling of comfort.
In Somalia, I was only given enough food and water to keep me alive. I have lost weight and my body is weak. Weakness is not something I know how to deal with. I have always been strong in both body and mind. In Mossad you were strong or you were dead. I have never known this feeling of weakness. Holding this gun that used to feel like an extension of my body, but is now heavy and awkward, brings the memories that I fight everyday to keep hidden.
Being tied up for hours and days at a time has caused residual pain in my wrists and hands. They hurt and shake at the most inopportune moments. I shake them out, hoping no one is paying enough attention to notice. But everyone is watching me like a hawk and it is all I can do to hold it together every day. The team cannot know how weak I really am. They already look at me with pity and treat me like I am breakable, and that hurts more than the memories of torture.