ophelias_heart: (Default)
My stepmom called Monday and my dad has leukemia (specifically cmml) and also MDS (myelodysplatic syndrome) which both mean his bone marrow is dead/dying. With his prior conditions they are unable to do a transplant. They also think that his lung cancer might be back(I'm not sure if my stepmom thinks that or the drs). The doctors say that there is a 10% chance he will make it a year. They are going to do a type of treatment that is chemo or similar to chemo (which he has reacted well to in general in the past), but I don't think anyone thinks this is a cure, I'm pretty sure it's just a time grab. It's so different than it was when my mom got sick and so sickeningly the same. I'm not sure what I'm feeling or doing, I'm just kind of adrift. Patrick is trying so much harder to help then he did with my mom and I get that it's because he's older and there isn't as much animosity with my dad, but it's almost upseting, because I was much closer to my mom.
I'm so sad, but at the same time I feel horrible because when my mom was dying I was wishing it was my dad and now I am wishing my stepmom would go first, because she's so much more difficult to deal with. I'm mad and upset because life isn't fair!
ophelias_heart: (Default)
We put Helo to sleep on Thursday, he went downhill really quickly and was obviously in a lot of pain. It was hard, but he's not suffering any more. Rowdy is lonely and confused, but Helo didn't have much to do with Henry, so Henry hasn't asked about him and probably assumes he's just hiding from him again.

My dad is in remission again. He has to have the maintenance chemo every three weeks, but it's less and not as strong.

Patrick's dad agreed to do our plumbing, so we are getting it done for the price of supplies. It's awesome! I was a little leery of letting Patrick's dad do it, but he did build their house from scratch and has redone plenty of other buildings.

I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy and it was even better than I imagined! If you have any interest at all, go see it.
ophelias_heart: (Default)
Friday my mom would have been 60. I just, for so long I didn't want other people to talk about her because I wanted her memory all to myself and now I wish more people would talk to me about her and what they remember. I worry that sometimes I can't remember how she smelled and how her arms felt hugging me.

I was prepared for Friday to kinda suck, what I was not prepared for is that Helo (our orange kitty) has cancer. He was not putting a lot of weight on him back leg Friday before last or so. The vet thought it was an abscess so he got a shot and some meds, we went back Tuesday and nothing had changed so more meds and Friday was a recheck. They did an x-ray and they are 95ish% sure that it's cancer and that it's spread. Since it's more than likely spread amputation is not an option. They said that they could do chemo and radiation to the tune of at least $10,000, which even if we had that, I hate the thought of him not understanding why we are causing him more pain. Mostly because they said he has maybe six weeks, if it's as fast moving as they think. He is in a obvious amount of pain and is lethargic, so I think we are going to have to make the call this week. He's only seven and I'm not ready, but I don't want to put him through more suffering because I'm not ready. Henry couldn't figure out why I was upset and just kept asking Patrick "mommy crying?" I really don't cry a lot and crying in public is the worst.

Monday we found out that we have another few pinhole leaks in the pipes. They want to replace the the whole system. Which would be great if we had money for that. Also, it's kinda difficult to get a loan when you don't actually own anything outright. Trying to see if we can just patch some more and wait. Eventually we will have replaced the whole thing two inch sections at a time.

Also, yesterday Henry had a nosebleed. He ran into the wall at daycare and they didn't think he hit his face, but later he had a nosebleed. Not sure if he really did hit it or if it's allergies or something else.

On the bright side, my dad is having his last round of chemo this week. He will probably still have to have maintenance chemo for the rest of his life, but overall this is good news. Patrick had a flat tire last week, but we were able to get it patched, so that's good. And I have a lot of people that love me, so that's always amazing.
ophelias_heart: (Default)
Last Person That:
Slept in your bed besides you? Patrick
Saw you cry?: Patrick
You went to the movies with? I don’t remember, but probably Patrick.
You went out to dinner with? My s-i-l and Henry.
You talked on the phone to? My Aunt
Made you laugh? Henry
Would You Rather:
Pierce your nose or your tongue? Neither.
Be serious or be funny? Funny
Drink whole or skimmed milk? Somewhere in between.
Die in a fire or drowning? Fire only because I feel like I would pass out from smoke inhalation before I burned to death.
Spend time with your parent(s) or enemies? Parents.
Are You?:
Simple or complicated? Simple
Straight, gay or bisexual? Probably bisexual, although I’ve only ever really dated guys.
Tall or short? Short.
Right handed or left handed? Right handed
A lover of music or a lover of books? Books
Do You Prefer?:
Flowers or sweets? Sweets, but that is tough.
Grey or black? Black
Colour photos or black-and-white photos? Color
Sunrise or sunset? Sunset
M&Ms or Skittles? M&Ms
Staying up late or waking up early? Staying up late
Sun or moon? Moon
Winter or Autumn? Autumn
10 acquaintances or 2 best friends? 2 best friends
Rainy or sunny? Sunny
Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? Chocolate
Vodka or Jack? Jack
About You:
What time is it? 9:50 AM
Name? Lisa
Nicknames? Lis, Lisee
When is your birthday? Aug. 19
What do you want? Trying to figure that out.
How many kids do you want? I have one,that’s good.
What would you name a girl?: Talia Leia
What would you name a boy? We had the name Henry in our heads for so long, I’m not sure we even thought of anything else.
You want to get married? I am, but I had never pictured myself married, just because I don’t remember my parents ever being married.
What kind of music do you like? Rock, pop and folksy.
Nervous habits? Bouncing my leg, adjusting my glasses, laughing, cracking my knuckles, biting my lip, and the list goes on.
Are you double-jointed? Yep
Can you roll your tongue? Yes, I can even do a clover looking thing.
Can you raise one eyebrow? Yep.
Can you cross your eyes? Yes
Which shoe goes on first? Right.
Ever thrown something at someone? I don’t think so.
On average, how much money do you carry with you? none.
What jewelery do you wear? I wear a ring and a necklace.
Do you twirl or cut spaghetti? Twirl.
Have you ever eaten Spam? Yes, it’s surprisingly not bad when you fry it and put it on a sandwich.
How many kinds of cereal are in your cupboard? Two, but they are probably stale, we mostly eat fruit or poptarts for breakfast.
Can you cook? Nope.
Alcoholic beverage? Kamikaze
Car ride? Work.
Song played? Rude by Majic
Person you saw? The boss.
Time you cried? Yesterday.
Fight? Probably with Henry, because I ruin his little life every day.
ophelias_heart: (Annie Srsly)
Yesterday morning was Henry's last dose of anti-biotic for his ear infection. At noon the daycare called and let me know that they thought he had hand, foot, and mouth disease. Took him to the dr. and he did. His ear infection was gone though. HFMD is viral and there's nothing they can do. The dr did call in some medicated butt cream because the blisters on his butt (which we had assumed were from the really strong anti-biotic) if they burst could get infected. Patrick's great aunt died on Thursday and the funeral was last night, but Henry's appt wasn't until 5 so we couldn't make it up there. His mom was upset at the daycare, but I think she was just really sad at not getting to see him. Anyway, Patrick stayed up at his parents overnight and Henry was inconsolable the entire night. His diaper is rough on his bottom, but the cream hurts him too. He couldn't sleep so I didn't sleep and as soon as Patrick got home I came on in to work. I am the walking dead right now.

I just started watching Sons of Anarchy (because I really liked Pacific Rim and Charlie Hunnam is in both) and really like it.

There is probably more I meant to write, but I'm gonna go now.
ophelias_heart: (Team LADeeks)
Prompt: Something I Thought I Would Never Do
Part: 3/?
Pairings: Nell/Callen
Warnings: None
Word Count: 627

Walking up to her door, he knew that this was going to be tough. Knocking, he was sure that no matter what he needed her back.
Looking out the door Nell who had obviously been crying said, “What do you want, Callen?”
Callen fumbled for where to start, “Uh, well, it’s..I… Can I come in? We need to talk.”
“Look G, I said everything I needed to earlier, so just go,” Nell said defeated.
“You said what you needed to say, but I was hoping you would let me talk. Please,” Callen begged.
“Fine, but don’t just say you’re sorry and expect everything to go back. I know that you think I’m young and you think I’m book smart, not street smart, but I’ve been through firearms training too. I have had to fight like hell my whole life to be taken seriously and the person I trusted the mos-.”
“Nell, let me talk, okay, just let me tell you what was going through my head,” he waited for her nod before continuing, “This was just something I thought I would never do. And this was definitely not how I pictured doing it, but I wanted to show you this,” Callen said pulling a ring box out of his pocket, “and show you the receipt.”
Nell took the box and gasped when she saw a beautiful engagement ring.
“You bought this two months ago? I don’t understand. You were going to propose two months ago? Why didn’t you?” Nell asked still feeling hurt and now shocked.
“No, I had it sized two months ago I bought it after our third date. I didn’t have a plan, I just knew it was what I wanted for us. I knew YOU were what I wanted,” Callen explained, “I didn’t call Hetty because I think that you are not capable of taking care of yourself or because I think you need looking after. I thought that you would take it more seriously from her. Deeks and Sam were missing and I just needed to not have to worry about you, too. I needed to be team leader and not have in the back of my mind that Janvier had figured out what was really the most important thing in the world to me. I respect Deeks and Sam is family, but I don’t think that I could get over losing you. And if Janvier knew that, he would use it. It turns out that my own stupidity lost you anyway, but at least you’re alive. At least I know that even if you don’t forgive me, you can find happiness with someone else.”
“G, I was worried about you too, but you can’t call my boss any time there’s trouble. If we are going to make this work, you have to deal with me and trust that I am a fully capable person and also that I trust you enough to do what you ask when I know that you are worried,” Nell said tears streaking her face.
“I know and I’m so sorry. Nellie, I love you! I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t work well with other people sometimes and I tend to not consult anyone. I just have to learn how to be in a relationship. Can we still be in a relationship?” Callen looked at her hopefully.
“Okay,” Nell conceded.
“Okay?” Callen made it a question.
“Yes, but we aren’t getting engaged right now, I won’t tell my family we got engaged because of our first big fight,” Nell said smiling for the first time that night.
“Sure, but I’m serious when I say I want you for forever. I want us to be a real family, rings and paperwork, all legal.”
ophelias_heart: (Team LADeeks)
Prompt: Accidental Proposal
Part: 1/1
Pairing: Kensi/Deeks
Warning: Spoilers for 5.02
Word Count: 369

“So we keep eating every meal together and hanging out, what are we doing?” Deeks asked hesitantly.
“We don’t eat every meal together, we just get breakfast as we drive in in the mornings and we get lunch while we’re out on cases and then we... get dinner.” Kensi said defensively.
“Was that you proving my point or trying to argue, cause your technique needs work.” Deeks teased.
“Why do you have to label anything?” Kensi asked.
“Oh, right, cause I put myself out there kissing you. And then I put myself out there telling you about where my mind went to escape torture, so I kinda just want to know if we are on the same page or if you are just not wanting to damage my already fragile psyche.”
“I bought you a cronut and I let you pick where we eat.” Kensi offered.
“Ate. You let me pick once. And buying me a delicious and rare pastry, while wonderful, could easily be a ‘I hope you are feeling better after all the torture’ pastry. And not a ‘I’m glad we kissed and your last thought would have been of me’ pastry.
“See and I just figured that you knew that I almost lost it when you went missing and then we found you and you dropped out of sight again. I kept trying to call and come over and you never answered, so I didn’t want to push and I was just alone, because my best friend and the person that I have confusing feelings about didn’t want to talk to me.” Kensi explained sadly.
“Kens, look at me, I’ve never been so happy, then I am with you, and I want to spend my life making you happy, too! If you’ll let me.” Deeks confessed.
“Did you just accidentally propose to me?” Kensi asked feeling shocked and confused.
“Maybe? But all I have is this ring pop?” Deeks laughed.
“Deeks, look, I’m bad with guys and for some reason they tend to leave so if we could just start slow.” Kensi said hurriedly.
“Fern, I know, I just want to be able to be something with you, something more than friends and work partners.”
ophelias_heart: (Default)
Prompt: Lying to yourself
Part: 3/3
Pairing: Deeks/Kensi
Warning: AU of Season 4 finale.
Word Count: 263

The next day Nell hands Kensi a thumb drive.
“Nell, what is this?”
“Um, uh, you should listen to it. I think that you should hear it. I know we haven’t had a lot of girl time together lately, but I know that you are struggling with something and I think that this will help.”
“Nell, what are you talking about, I’m fine,” Kensi says, trying and failing to pull off carefree and unconcerned.
“Kensi, Deeks isn’t the only one to call you out when you’re lying to yourself. I know you and I know that you are not fine, but you can listen to it or not. I just wanted to give you a chance to let yourself be happy.”
Kensi, not knowing how to react, just nods, takes the flash drive and walks away.

It takes her all weekend to decide if she even wants to know what is on the drive. On Sunday night she decides she needs to listen. She plugs it into her computer and starts the audio file.
At first it’s just yelling and gunshots. Then you can hear Sam asking if Michelle is okay. He starts to ask about Deeks and then you hear Michelle telling Eric to send an ambulance that Deeks is down. Why would Nell want me to hear this, oh my God, this is awful. She thinks about stopping it, but then she hears Deeks’ voice asking Sam for a favor. Hearing him say those words, she can’t control the tears that form in her eyes.
ophelias_heart: (Default)
Prompt: Feelings
Part: 2/3
Pairing: Kensi/Deeks
Warning: AU of Season 4 finale.
Word Count: 272

Deeks wakes up to beeping noises and white walls that tell him he’s in a hospital. Sam comes in and says that a nurse is on her way in. Deeks doesn’t remember much, but his whole body hurts. “Hey, man, don’t move. Just relax, okay?” Sam is being surprisingly nice, which must mean he’s bad off.
“Am I going to make it?” Deeks asks not really sure he wants to know the answer.
“Yep, told you, bullet missed everything vital, you’ll be back to driving us crazy in no time.”
“Hey, Sam, what I said before, what I told you to tell Kensi, just, just forget it man. I was being crazy.”
“Deeks, I won’t tell her, but I think that you should. You saved Michelle’s life and I owe you my life for that, but we work in a dangerous line of work and you shouldn’t miss one day you could be spending with her. You obviously have strong feelings and maybe you don’t see it, but she does too.”
Kensi rushes in, “Oh my God, Deeks! What the hell were you thinking, you almost died. What the hell is wrong with you!”
“Well, Kens, I live to make you crazy,” Deeks says smiling painfully, while Sam steps out.
“I’m with Callen tailing Janvier and Eric tells us that you are on the way to the hospital with a gunshot wound. I thought you were backup; why are you shot and Sam and Michelle fine?”
As Kensi is asking the pain medicine kicks in and Deeks starts drifting off to sleep.
ophelias_heart: (Team LAKens)
Prompt: Nine Lives
Part: 1/3
Characters/Pairing: Deeks/Kensi
Warning: AU of Season 4 finale.
Word Count: 381

Deeks is backup for Sam and Michelle’s last meeting with Siderov. He is slowly incapacitating guards on the property when he hears the yelling start. He recognizes Sam’s voice immediately and runs toward the sound. He gets there just in time to see Siderov pull his gun. He runs while drawing his weapon and ends up right in front of Michelle as Siderov pulls the trigger. He doesn’t feel the pain at first. He, Sam and Michelle clear the area of Siderov and his men. While they are checking for pulses and kicking guns away, Deeks sees the blood on his shirt. The bullet hit his abdomen. He drops to his knees. Sam comes over to apply pressure and assess how much of a problem they have, while Michelle lets Eric know to call an ambulance.

Deeks is losing a lot of blood and he is running out of time. He’s been shot before, but this feels different. “Sam, I think I’ve used up my nine lives, can you do me a favor.”

Sam smiles, “Deeks I am not taking that mutt to raise.”

“No, I mean, that’s a good idea, but no I need you to tell Kensi something. Can you...can you just, just tell her that I wasn’t trying to get myself killed.”

“Deeks, man, you’re fine, I’ve had worse injuries on the other side of the world. You’ll be fine, the ambulance is only a few minutes away.”

“Sam, stop, I need her to know that I love her. That I have always loved her. I wanted to tell her, but I was afraid she would run. Every time I came close to talking about it, something came up and we were “fine” again. I don’t want to be fine, I want to be amazing. She makes me feel amazing and now I’m just one more person who is leaving her.”

“You’re not leaving her. You’re going to be fine. And then you are going to have to decide whether you are going to actually tell her all these things yourself.”

At that point Deeks passes out and they hear the sirens so Michelle runs out to meet the EMTs.
ophelias_heart: (Team LAKens)
Prompt: Favorite Stuffed Animal
Part: 1/1
Pairing: Kensi/Deeks
Word Count: 392

“I cannot believe that you lost your w-2 again. Of course if you were less of a hoarder then you could probably find it without my help,” Deeks said with a cocky smile.
“More looking, less talking, Deeks,” Kensi spat back.
“Oh my God, what is this? Did you miss the trash can? It’s grotesque.”
“Stop, don’t touch that!” Kensi yelled as she grabbed the mass of fur with one eyeball and an ear hanging on by a thread.
“Whoa, princess, didn’t mean to get you all riled up. I just didn’t want to catch anything. Can stuffed animals get the mange?”
“This is Bear.”
“I love that name, how did you come up with it?” Deeks teased.
“Shut up, my dad bought her for me at the hospital when I was born. I can’t really sew, but I have tried to patch her up over the years,” Kensi told him while hugging the decrepit bear.
“Wow, when you were born, that is one old bear!” Deeks said as he moved before she could punch him.
“Didn’t you have stuffed animals when you were little?” Kensi asked as she sat down on the couch.
“Uh, yeah, for a while, but my dad would get drunk and get mad and throw out things when I was ‘bad’, so I don’t still have any of them,” Deeks explained as he took a seat next to her.
Taking his hand Kensi said, “Sometimes, I forget that your dad was awful. You always joke around and laugh and it’s hard to think of you as anything other than happy.”
“Are you giving up on your search for the illusive w-2 because my dad sucked? He’s not worth getting audited,” Deeks joked.
“If you ever tell anyone I said this, I will kill you. But, sometimes, when you aren’t annoying the crap out of me or mocking me, you’re alright. And it makes me believe that people can turn out okay even if their parents screw up royally,” Kensi said getting up and moving things around so as not to make eye contact.
“Did, did you just compliment me?” Deeks stood and stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
“Sort of, maybe, shut up!” Kensi said turning away.
“Hey, Kens, you mean a lot to me too,” Deeks said smiling as he turned to continue searching.
ophelias_heart: (Team LADeeks)
Prompt: You Didn't Ask
Part: 2/?
Pairing: Nell/Callen
Word Count: 269

Part 2
Nell immediately collects her phone and calls Callen:
“G, what is your location?”
“Nell, I’m driving, I know that you are upse-”
“You think that just because we are dating you get to have Hetty order me around?”
“Nell, it’s not just that we are dating and you know it. Can we talk about this later?”
“You called Hetty, behind my back, to get her to hold me hostage here, instead of treating me like an adult and calling me and asking, so no it can’t wait until later .”
“Um, Nell?” Eric said tapping her on her shoulder.
“Eric, I’m on the phone, it’s kinda important.”
“Uh, yeah, we can all hear you, Callen’s earwig is on.”
“Sorry, Nell, I didn’t get a chance to turn it off when you called and you wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise,” Callen said while he was disconnecting his earwig.
“Well, it doesn’t matter because there is nothing for the team to know now anyways.”
“Nell, I was just trying to protect you.” Callen said, trying to make her understand.
“This is not the way you treat an adult that you have a relationship with, or whatever it was that we had. You didn’t ask me to stay here and be safe, you called my boss and basically told her we were dating and that you don’t think that I can take care of myself. Well, you don’t need to worry about me any more. We are done. Goodbye,” Nell said, hanging up.
ophelias_heart: (Team LADeeks)
Title: Anger
Part: 1/?
Pairing: Nell/Callen
Word Count: 290

Part 1
“Janvier is going after the people important to me, Hetty. I’m going to ask you something and I don’t have time to answer questions right now, so I just need you to do what I’m asking.”
“Mr. Callen, why do you think I would argue?”
“Hetty, I need you to keep Nell in ops. Don’t let her go home, or out to get lunch, just make sure she stays in the building.”
“Just Miss Jones?"
"Too many people have gotten hurt in this investigation because of me. So just tell me that you will do this and we can talk about it when Janvier is caught.”
“I will do as you ask, but Mr. Callen, Miss Jones will not take kindly to knowing that you are dictating her actions.”
“Well, when I catch Janvier she can explain in detail how angry she is, but at least she will be able to explain.”
“Hetty, hey, I was just gonna go get some lunch, would you like anything?”
“Miss Jones, I need to ask that you not leave the mission.”
“I’m sorry?” Nell said confused, “ Am I in trouble or…”
“Mr. Callen called earlier and insisted I promise him that you would not leave this building.”
“Fine, if you don’t mind I’ll go back up to my cell, I mean ops.”
“Dear, I’m sure that Mr. Callen was not trying to insult you. Is there something you would like to have someone fetch for you?”
“No, I have things I can eat here, I was just in the mood for something else.”
“You are taking this much better than I hoped, let me know if there is anything I can do.”
ophelias_heart: (omgkensi)
This is about NCIS and while it doesn't contain spoilers I am adding a warning. I am not trying to be negative or cause a fight. This thought literally just hit my like a ton of bricks and actually made took my anger down to a dull roar. I posted this on tumblr a min ago and it just made me feel so much better I wanted to share. I am NOT quitting NCISverse or anything like that, I just wanted to share my thoughts:
It just hit me what has been bothering me about NCIS for a long time. For several seasons something was missing and I just couldn't pin down what. They aren't the little show that could anymore, they are the top dog and have been for so long they don't remember anything else. They are so afraid of not being top dog that they don't take chances anymore. Have any of the EP's been there since the beginning? On Ziva's eighth episode they are making out, rolling around on a bed joking about her being pregnant. The last episode that I remember freaking out over is Truth and Consequences. I'm not saying they haven't had good episodes, but even when the building exploded none of them were injured to the extent that they could have been from their proximity to the bomb (from my perspective). Anyway my point is that they are so afraid of not being number one that they can't/won't rock the boat. Okay, so Jackie Vance and Eli David were killed, you maybe saw them on an episode once or twice a year. That's why after eight years Tony and Ziva had two kisses. That's why the car crash didn't injure Ziva or Tony to any degree. I loved NCIS and I will always have love about that show, but I can't keep watching. And I understand that this is going to upset people, but I think I would have liked the episode more if they had killed Ziva off. Or done something that was special. It hurts my heart that this show is no longer the show I fell in love with. I will continue to follow everyone I met through NCIS and I will still watch NCIS LA, but I just don't WANT to watch it anymore. I feel better just knowing why I was sad about not just this past episode, but the show in general. I love all of you and I don't mean to offend anyone, I just had an epiphany and wanted to share.
ophelias_heart: (kensidonut)
Well, I haven't been to the gym in a least a week. I have also been eating terribly because I like to eat my feelings and I'm a bit of a wreck. However, after Henry's teacher called Monday to say that they wanted me to know that he had been there for 2 or 3 hours and was still really upset, he has gotten better every day. He still cries when I drop him off, but he doesn't follow me to the door sobbing and yelling. Today was picture day and he wore overalls and a plaid shirt.

Spoiler question about NCIS: LA 5.01 )
ophelias_heart: (Default)
All I ever feel is guilty.

Henry started daycare yesterday. He did really well for his first day, he didn't cry when I left, I didn't cry when I left, he ate good, he wasn't feeling the mat for nap, but they rocked him a little and he did fine. I only called twice. Then I got a call from them, he had tried to climb the sink stairs, fallen, and hit his head. They called to warn me that there would be an accident report with his daily page. They said he didn't even cry he just kept saying fall, fall. On the report it says action taken and they wrote "looked over the area with the bump and showed lots of love." It was sweet and made me smile. They also said that at music time he kept trying to sing with whatever they were playing.

He did fine this morning too, but then when I called they said that he had been more emotional today. That he was fine right then, but that he had more ups and downs than yesterday, which almost made me cry. He's fine and I know that he's fine, but it makes my heart hurt that daycare is a big change and it's hard for a little guy.

Then I feel guilty for feeling sad about him doing okay with a big change when other people have actual problems. Don't get me wrong I'm not sad that he's doing okay, I'm just sad that he so little and he's having to deal with a huge change for his little world.

Henry and I went up Sunday to my dad and Jackie's. She's going to have the surgery to remove the mass in her abdomen sometime in October allegedly. They had the RV back from the shop, so Sean wanted to show it to me. He turned it on and said that they didn't have the levelers (or anchors or whatever) down so he wouldn't show me the slides. He and I were looking around and I look behind me and Henry has climbed into the drivers seat grabbed the wheel and was making car noises. It's a nice older RV, it has two slides and a really nice little tub/shower. Then Sean started to put out the one slide and I panicked. Full disclosure: I have a phobia of anything on wheels larger than a 15 passenger van. I am absolutely convinced that they are going to turn over. It took me years to be okay in cars and vans, but I just have panic attacks when I am on buses or RV's, where you can feel the weight shift. Just thinking about it is making my heart pound. Even still cars or vans parked on any kind of incline make me break out in a cold sweat and have trouble breathing. So I told Sean not to put the slide out that it was fine and then I grabbed Henry and ran outside. I then had to explain my extreme fear of large vehicles. I HATE feeling afraid of anything. I just do whatever it is until I don't fear it anymore, with two exceptions: my fear of large vehicles rolling over and my fear of worms.

Wow that is much longer than I meant for it to be.
ophelias_heart: (Default)
Episode Title: The Job (2.20NCIS: LA)
Caf-Pow rating: 4 Caf-pows
Review: 1021-words
I really liked this episode and I think it was a turning point for Kensi and Deeks. Two guys in masks break into a Camp Pendleton warehouse and one makes enough noise to get caught and then won't drop his gun and gets shot. The other guy leaves him there with a get-away car that I'm not sure how it got on base. Anyway, the guy who got shot is named Asher and he is whiny and really nervous and talky. Callen and Sam say that Kensi should be used to someone talking all the time. G and Sam get a name with a Kumani, which is actually pretty awesome little con. I love the small things that Callen and Sam pull off, that all have names and are amazing. My favorite is Mr. Carl.
Next we see someone breaking into a lovely home, which we find out is King's (the non bullet holed burglar) house and it turns out that the burglar's burglar is Kensi. Side note, that is a beautiful house and I love the architecture. "Lisa" claims to have learned B&E from a misspent youth, but Eric quickly tells everyone that he taught her. Nell and Eric commiserate over never getting any credit and are kinda right. They do a lot of work and everyone always thanks the agents. And I know that maybe they just don't show it, but they get left out of being asked to go get dinner or a drink because they are upstairs and no one thinks. While I was not fond of Nell at first she has really grown on me and I enjoy the friendship of Eric and Nell. Deeks is concerned that he's never heard Kensi sound like that before, but the guys mock him for not knowing that she is trying to seduce King.
Kensi takes King to Asher and Asher backs up her story and King straight up murders him, right in front of her. He tells her to take care of the body and then they can talk money. Deeks gets to Kensi and asks how she is and she says 'fine'. He already knows that fine means anything but fine in Kensiland. So he tells her to hang out by the car and calls Hetty to see if they can't just charge King with murder and forget this whole op, but Hetty wants to make sure the whys of the burglary.
So King starts to research Kensi's alias's history and he's getting to the end of the backstop and so Callen and Sam have to distract him. The redhead he was meeting with starts to leave and Deeks pretends to get hit by her car. They find out her name is Patricia and they bring her in for questioning and when she tells them what she knows they turn her over to LAPD.
Kensi ends up at King's house again and some guys show up with Patricia. Of course the guys blame Deeks for this, because LAPD should have kept her longer and apparently that is entirely on Deeks. It makes me sad sometimes how they treat Deeks. King shoves Kensi in the pool and everyone things that he is trying to kill her, but in fact he is saving her from the bomb that immediately explodes. The aftermath of that is that all communication with Kensi is lost. So they have to try to figure out why he took her.
Turns out he wants to break back into the warehouse on base for a green dragon, that might or might not have stolen or illegal goods inside it. The guys are all waiting at the warehouse and catch them before they can leave and Kensi starts away from King, but he grabs her and holds her at gunpoint. She ends up saving herself, gets punched in the face for it. Deeks then punches King in the face 'for hitting his partner'. Deeks hurts his hand, which makes me happy, because people who don't hurt themselves punching someone aren't really hitting them. It hurts, which I know from listening to the Fired Up commentary.
Sam and Callen are going to eat, but Deeks and Kensi both pass. Kensi tells Deeks that she's fine, but then thinks better and says good.
Kensi is lounging at her house, when there is a knock at the door and when she looks it's Deeks she sees. He says he was going to call, but he was already out front so it was redundant. But he specifically went and got her food and could have called at any time, however he knew if he called she would say not to come check on her, so he just showed up with her kryptonite: food. He makes fun of her messy house and they start watching Top Model. This marks the first time they hang out outside of work, that I remember. I love that them hanging out is just beers and stupid tv.
I like that we see how very observance Deeks is in this episode with him noticing that Kensi only uses fine, when she's not and identifying Patricia with the bracelets. He also, calls Hetty and questions why she is doing something, which is either because he is still new and unaware that that is extremely dangerous or he cares about Kensi enough to stand up for her to Hetty. He also goes and checks on her after the op and I think it's because he can relate to not being able to stop things in an undercover op, but he's smart enough to know that he can't go in with caring and understanding or Kensi will run away. So he goes with friendship and beer/food. I also love that having experienced something kinda traumatic and having questioned herself, Deeks can still make Kensi smile. When he gets 'hit' by Patricia's car she is sitting in the driver seat trying not to laugh. For me this is the first time that we see that they are good for each other, even if they don't notice it at all.
Sig Tag: photo ec7ff568-c597-47ba-b2ab-aee0251d0bfe_zps1a1c7e6e.jpg
ophelias_heart: (kensidonut)
When you walk in your front door, which room do you enter?
The landing between the basement and the upstairs.

Do you have a dishwasher?

Is your living room carpeted or does it have hardwood floors?
Hardwood floors.

Do you keep your kitchen knives on the counter or in a drawer?
On the counter.

House, apartment, duplex or trailer?

How many bedrooms are there?
Three, but the lady before us made the downstairs a master suite.

Gas stove or electric?

Do you have a yard?

What size TV is in the living room?
42in maybe.

Are your plates in the same cupboard as your cups?
Well they wouldn't be, but we have cup overflow.

Is there a coffee maker sitting on your kitchen counter?
Yes (do I drink coffee? no).

What room is your computer in?
Our living room and dining room are one big room and the computer sits in between.

Are there pictures hanging in your living room?

Are there any themes found in your home?

What kind of laundry detergent do you use?

Do you use dryer sheets?

Do you have curtains?
Only in the living room and kitchen (Patrick's mother and nana made them special for us).

What color is your fridge?

Is your house clean?

What room is the most neglected?
The spare bedroom, I mostly open the door and toss stuff in.

Are the dishes in your sink/dishwasher clean or dirty?
Sink-dirty, dishwasher-clean.

How long have you lived in your home?
Six years, I think.

Where did you live before?
We lived in my mom's condo about 10 minutes north.

Do you have one of those fluffy toilet lid covers on your toilet?
Yes. Patrick broke the toilet lid and thought covering it was close enough to fixing it.

Do you have a scale anywhere in your house?
I think we have a scale in a drawer downstairs.

How many mirrors are in your house?
Four, one in each bathroom, one on a closet door and one on our dresser.

Look up. What do you see?
A ceiling.

Do you have a garage?
Yep, but it's filled with things that are not cars.


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June 2015

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