Me complaing...Wha?

[ophelias_heart]

Ugly day. Henry woke up at 3 and screamed for at least two hours. He didn't cry, he screamed. I still don't know why. Patrick and I took turns holding him and he would calm down and then start right back up. My head hurts and I think I forgot my medicine yesterday. Also, today would have been my mom's 59th birthday. I'm trying to decide if I want to go to the graveside today. I've only been a handful of times, but I grew up going a lot with my mom to visit and put flowers and wreaths on her parents and grandparents. I don't want to ignore the fact that it's her birthday, but I'm not sure I want the pain that goes with acknowledging it either.

Comments

[proseac]

Maybe Henry had a nightmare? Poor little guy!

I think it's totally a personal decision whether you choose to visit your Mom's grave or not. I've only been once sine my mother died, and we only went once after Dad died, just to see what the stone looked like. Mum's philosophy was, he's not there, he's in heaven, so what is the point of visiting the cemetery? I kind of agree with that, but I totally understand why some people do it. I think if you do, it should be because it brings you comfort. If it ratchets up the angst or makes you uncomfortable or miserable, what's the point? It shouldn't be an "obligation", IMHO.

*HUGS*

[ophelias_heart]

We figured it was a nightmare, but he was fine the next day.

I know she isn't there, but I just feel like I let her down not visiting the graves like we used to. I feel like I let her down a lot, but you are right it just makes me uncomfortable so I should probably not worry about it.